I was pulled over in Texas. It was a Thursday night, probably around 10pm, and I was on my way from Albuquerque to Kalamazoo, MI. Yes, I was speeding. I was clocked at 83 in a 75 and that seems about right. (The car has an analog speedometer, so it's hard to be precise even with the cruise control on.) I saw headlights shining on the shoulder, had time to think "huh, that's odd, wonder what's--" and then drive through the headlights and think "oh, crap, I just drove through a speed trap." Sure enough, he pulled out, caught up, and pulled me over. He was very clear from the start that he was going to issue me a warning, but he also wanted me to get out of the car and come with him while he was running my license and plate, which struck me as odd. It turned out he suspected me of running drugs. That might've had something to do with the bag of freshly roasted Hatch green chile in the back seat, but my hunch is it was mostly about a sporty coupe at that time of day on that stretch of Interstate. The officer was never rude or especially threatening to me, but he clearly didn't trust me from the moment he started asking me questions. I suppose it's probably my nervous demeanor, and by the time he was searching my car, another cop had arrived on the scene who even asked if I was "a nervous person?" My response was "not especially, no," although in retrospect I wish I'd said "when I'm pulled over, asked to get out of my car, interrogated about drugs that might be in my possession, asked to stand 20 feet off the freeway in 50° weather wearing nothing more than what was comfortable in a heated car while two cops rifle through my belongings looking for something they're not going to find but which would cost me my freedom if someone thought it would be funny to plan on me? Yeah, I'm a little nervous then." The other thing I wanted to say at the time, but it's probably better I didn't, was "do you encounter a lot of people who aren't nervous in a situation like this one?" This was after I'd been given no less than 4 opportunities to tell the cops about a "small quantity of marijuana" I might have either in the car or on my person. Honestly, officer, if I'd had any, I would've told you right off the bat. I haven't been in possession of even a small quantity of marijuana since before that car was built, before any of the clothes I was wearing were made, so I'm 100% confident I'm not forgetting anything.
Eventually, whether I was nervous or not, no matter how convinced they were that I was lying, they either satisfied themselves that I wasn't carrying any drugs or they got bored and decided to catch another fish in the barrel to see if the drugs were easier to find. It took me a few minutes to get my car put back together enough to carry on with my road trip, I snapped a picture over my shoulder which didn't come out at all, and went on my way. The 2nd cop had already left and the 1st one pulled out faster than I and had caught someone else before I even caught up to him. I set the cruise control to the low side of the 75 line on my speedometer and got out of Texas as quickly and efficiently as I could without taking the chance of meeting one of his colleagues.
So here's the open letter part of this blog. It didn't really occur to me at the time how much old, boring, white-guy privilege I'd just enjoyed. I'm not saying I would've been shot or even handcuffed had I not been an old, boring, white guy (although who knows?), but the interaction would have been different. If I'm perceived as a threat because I'm nervous, it's not a far walk to think someone who is nervous, maybe has a chip on their shoulder because they get pulled over more often than I do, and more accurately fits the "profile" of drug runner, had longer hair, was wearing a cheeky graphic tee and tattered jeans, the smell in the car wasn't roasted chiles but the roach in the ash tray. So far I'm describing myself not that many years ago on a similar road trip. (I don't actually remember smoking marijuana in the car on a long solo road trip, but I'm not going to say it never happened.) Then imagine if I'm not white, that ads something to the equation. Maybe that's more the profile the Texas State Troopers were looking for, maybe it's not, but non-white people are more exposed to being profiled and someone who's been profiled before is more likely to get defensive in that situation. Defensiveness is surely a red flag. My lovely wife also pointed out this is why it's different taking a solo road trip if you're a woman. What? Surely, the cop thinks the woman is less of a threat, right? Less suspicious? Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn't matter. A woman has a totally different feeling being alone on the side of the freeway in the middle of nowhere with a strange man, even if he is wearing a uniform.
So much is made by the "all lives matter" crowd of how the suspect should behave. If only these young black men would just go along with being questioned, searched, detained, they'd still be alive. When was the last time you were pulled over? What were the circumstances? Did you remember everything about staying calm, calling the officer "sir," not being nervous, or at least not showing it? I reminded myself as I was slowing down and pulling off the road, and I still blew it. I forgot to call the officer "sir" until he started asking about drugs in the car, and I'm sure that made me seem even more nervous than if I hadn't suddenly started calling him "sir." There should be a presumption of innocence in these encounters, on both sides. I don't know about cop training, but I do know the legal system is designed to presume a suspect is innocent even as they're being arrested and booked. I know enough about human nature to know there's no way cops make that presumption, even if they are trained to. I also know enough about human nature to know I distrusted those cops. I literally watched a Washtenaw County Sherrif drop a firecracker as he was bending down to pick it up saying "oh, look at this? I thought you guys said you didn't have any fireworks?" I've been pulled over in a car full of teenage boys because of a "visual obstruction" (graduation tassel on the rearview mirror). These are not major abuses of power, but they play into me being nervous when a cop is searching my car for evidence of a felony.
The cop who pulled me over did everything right in terms of trying to make me comfortable: he told me before he asked me out of the car he was going to issue a warning (not a ticket), when he did bring up drugs he made it clear (repeatedly) that what he suspected I was most likely to be carrying would not be a big deal, he never treated me like a criminal or someone he was afraid of (until he had me stand so far off the highway.... I'm still not sure I understand that one--it felt like either intimidation or to get me out of sight of the dashboard camera). But they both treated me like they didn't trust me. They asked me the same questions over and over to check for inconsistencies. They played good cop bad cop with me (mildly, but still, I recognize the game). They questioned my story with incredulity. ("Your college reunion, eh? Do you remember what month you graduated in? Why is your reunion in October?")
I wouldn't be surprised if this was a stop the officer barely remembers because it went so smoothly. If they do remember one thing about it, I'm sure it's the bag of Hatch. Why a cop from the state next to New Mexico had never seen that before is a mystery to me, but maybe this is their first autumn on the job. They were both pretty young.
I'll tell you what happened on the return trip, though, the unintended consequence of this routine traffic stop. I made it a point to gas up, caffeine up, and bathroom break it up enough in Oklahoma and close enough to the border so that I wouldn't have to stop on my way through the panhandle of Texas. I pinned that cruise control to 75MPH and made my way through Texas without spending a dime in their economy. I've driven through Texas on I-40 at least a half dozen times in my life and I'm certain that's the first time I didn't spend any money there.
